Scott Castaletti

" I can lynch a split-lip if I wanna" 

- Scott Castaletti

Early Days
Scott Castaletti, when he first came to Gulch wasn't a wealthy man and he wasn't that smart either. He bounced between jobs quite often and had very little money. What little cash he could scrape together he spent on a house and a shotgun. He used this shotgun to protect himself from the many people who tried to attack him for the stupid shit he said on a daily basis. One day he was the victim of a malicious attack from the now infamous terrorist Mr. Smoothie. In this attack Scott had his dick chopped off and glued to his head. During the trial for Mr. Smoothie, Scott's testamony was among the most damming of evidence and got Mr. Smoothie convicted despite the shrewed tactics of Smoothie's jewish lawyer. Scotts testamony is below :

" I... It was my birth day and I had just gotten a bag of my favoriate flavor of chips. All of a sudden Mr. Smoothie pulled up in his car and said ' trust me im a doctor' then he jizzed in my chips, cut off my dick, and glued it to my head. Then he drove away, rapped some childeren, and crashed his car into the zombie wall "

- Scott Castaletti at the trial of Mr. Smoothie 5/31/2011

Some time after the trial Scott met a wealthy man known only as " The Booty Man  ". The booty man let Scott move in with him and they opened up a shop together known as  " The Purple Drank Store ". The store sold a beverage known as Purple Drank as well as merchandise like " Snake Foreskin Bobbleheads ". They even had a purple mongoose that drove arround and sold purple drank to people. However after the booty man was implicated in leading the biggest drug cartell in Gulchtopia ,as well as helping elite terrorists, tensions arrose between Scott and the booty man. Evetually the booty man threw Scott out of his house but Scott demanded " child support for their baby ". In an out of court settlement Scott recieved an appartment in the Nilloc Suites appartment building, a mongoose, and a tazer for protection..

Later Days
In late 2012 Castaletti tried starting an organized crime family known as " The Castaletties ", opperated out of a shitty strip-bar he had purchased known as " The Purple Nipple ". However police crackdowns prevented the organizaton from succeding. After a while Scott gave up on the family and decided to take on the simple job of a cab driver, where on the afternoon of March 16, 2013 he helped Nilloc  and police take down two elite extriemists.